Our 100 Favorite Dog Quotations

Some are funny. Some are somber. Some are famous. Some are obscure. But all are worth remembering!

Without further ado...in no particular order...Our 100 Favorite Dog Quotations...

  1. “What do dogs do on their day off? Can’t lie around — that’s their job.” – George Carlin

  2. “If you’re uncomfortable around my dog, I’m happy to lock you in the other room when you come over.” – Unknown

  3. “When an 85-pound mammal licks your tears away, then tries to sit on your lap, it’s hard to feel sad.” – Kristan Higgins

  4. “I’ve seen a look in dogs’ eyes, a quickly vanishing look of amazed contempt, and I am convinced that basically, dogs think humans are nuts.” – John Steinbeck

  5. “Anybody who doesn’t know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.” – Franklin P. Jones

  6. “Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away.” – Unknown

  7. “Don’t accept your dog’s admiration as conclusive evidence that you are wonderful.” – Ann Landers

  8. “They never talk about themselves but listen to you while you talk about yourself and keep up an appearance of being interested in the conversation.” – Jerome K. Jerome

  9. “Scratch a dog and you’ll find a permanent job.” – Franklin P. Jones

 10.“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx

 11. “If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man.”  -  Mark Twain

 12. “Dogs are our link to paradise. They don't know evil or jealousy or discontent. To sit with a dog on a hillside on a glorious afternoon is to be back in Eden, where doing nothing was not boring--it was peace.”  -  Milan Kundera

 13. “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.”  -  Josh Billings

 14. “Petting, scratching, and cuddling a dog could be as soothing to the mind and heart as deep meditation and almost as good for the soul as prayer.” - Dean Koontz

 15. “The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.” - Andy Rooney

 16. “The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him, and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself, too.” - Samuel Butler

 17. “You can say any fool thing to a dog and the dog will just give you this look that says, 'My GOSH, you're RIGHT! I NEVER would've thought of that!” - Dave Barry

 18. “Whoever said you can't buy Happiness forgot little puppies.” - Gene Hill

 19. “Now this is the Law of the Jungle -- as old and as true as the sky;

And the Wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the Wolf that shall break it must die.

As the creeper that girdles the tree-trunk the Law runneth forward and back --

For the strength of the Pack is the Wolf, and the strength of the Wolf is the Pack.” - Rudyard Kipling

 20. “I have found that when you are deeply troubled, there are things you get from the silent devoted companionship of a dog that you can get from no other source.” - Doris Day

 21. “A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.” - Robert Benchley

 22. “Plus je vois le homes, plus j’admire les chiens” (The more I see of men, the more I admire dogs).” - Marie-Jeanne Roland de la Platière

 23. “You want a friend in this city? [Washington, DC.] Get a dog!” - Harry S. Truman

 24. “If you live with dogs, you'll never run out of things to write about.” - Sharon Delarose

 25. “Then in a great crash they threw themselves to the floor, ears flopped down, the whites of their eyes showing, looking the way only a dog can look who is totally disappointed. Indeed, they were the very pictures of disappointment.” - Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson

 26. “I don't think twice about picking up my dog's poop, but if another dog's poop is next to it, I think, 'Eww, dog poop!”  -  Jonah Goldberg

 27. "A dog in a kennel barks at his fleas; a dog hunting does not notice them." - proverb

 28. "The best thing about a man is his dog." - French proverb

 29. "To live long, eat like a cat, drink like a dog." - German proverb

 30. "The country at large takes a natural interest in the President's dogs and judges him by the taste and discrimination he shows in his selection. Any man who does not like dogs and want them about does not deserve to be in the White House." - AKC Gazette, 1924

 31. "He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." - Unknown

 32. "Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if they are especially urgent, are often continued into the next yard." -  Dave Barry

 33. "I can't imagine living in a house without a couple of dogs. If I ever got out of bed at night and didn't have to step over a Labrador or two or three, or move one off the covers so I could turn over, my nights would be more restless and the demons that wait in the dark for me would be less easily fended." - Gene Hill

 34. "A person who has never owned a dog has missed a wonderful part of life." - Bob Barker

 35. "So many get reformed through religion. I got reformed through dogs." - Lina Basquette

 36. "If you really love dogs, have two, at least!" - Paul Carvel

 37. "If you have done much chasing of Bobwhite Quail, you will recall days when you could not hit a flushing blanket with all four corners going in different directions. And when, after repeated misses, one of the old dogs turned from his lingering point and indignantly stared at you. Under such circumstances, I have seen a variety of eyes eloquently pleading for me to get on the stick or go home and sign up for skeet lessons." - Charley Dickey

 38. "You ask of my companions. Hills, sir, and the sundown, and a dog as large as myself that my father bought me. They are better than human beings, because they know but do not tell." - Emily Dickinson

 39. "Dogs and philosophers do the greatest good and get the fewest rewards." - Diogenes

 40. "A house is not a home until it has a dog." - Gerald Durrell

 41. "We give dogs time we can spare, space we can spare and love we can spare. And in return, dogs give us their all. It's the best deal man has ever made." -  M. Facklam

 42. "Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened." -  Anatole France

 43. "Money may buy you a fine dog, but only love can make it wag its tail." -  Kinky Friedman

 44. "Do you know there is always a barrier between me and any man or woman who does not like dogs." - Ellen Glasgow

 45. "Lots of people talk to animals. Not very many listen, though. That's the problem."  Benjamin Hoff

 46. "Whoever beats dogs loves not man." - Houssaye

 47. "All knowledge, the totality of all questions and all answers, is contained in the dog." -  Franz Kafka

 48. "Dogs never lie about love." - Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson

 49. "No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as a dog does." - Christopher Morley

 50. "Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives." - Sue Murphy

 51. "Any woman who does not thoroughly enjoy tramping across the country on a clear frosty morning with a good gun and a pair of dogs does not know how to enjoy life."  - Annie Oakley

 52. "If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them." -  Phil Pastoret

 53. "Happiness is dog-shaped, I say." - Chapman Pincher

 54. "Your dog is your only philosopher." - Plato

 55. "Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends." - Alexander Pope

 56. "A well trained dog will make no attempt to shar your lunch. He will just make you feel so guilty that you cannot enjoy it." - Helen Thompson

 57. "If you don't own a dog, at least one, there is not necessarily anything wrong with you, but there may be something wrong with your life." - Roger A. Caras

 58. "I care not for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it." - Abraham Lincoln

 59. "A dog is like a person - he needs a job and a family to be what he's meant to be." - Andrew Vachss

 60. "All trees have bark. All dogs bark. Therefore all dogs are trees. The fallacy of barking up the wrong tree." - Unknown

 61. "A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones." - Sir Aruthur Conan Doyle

 62. "The Pug is living proof that God has a sense of humor." - Margot Kaufman

 63. "I love a dog. He does nothing for political reasons." - Will Rogers

 64. "You really have to be some kind of a creep for a dog to reject you." - Joe Garagiola

 65. "Labradors (are) lousy watchdogs. They usually bark when there is a stranger about, but it is an expression of unmitigated joy at the chance to meet somebody new, not a warning." - Norman Strung

 66. "I've caught more ills from people sneezing over me and giving me virus infections than from kissing dogs." - Barbara Woodhouse

 67. "There is honor in being a dog." - Aristotle

 68. "If I have any beliefs about immortality, it is that certain dogs I have know will go to heaven, and very, very few persons." - James Thurber

 69. "If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went." - Will Rogers

 70. "Happiness is a warm puppy." - Charles M. Schulz

 71. "The greatest fear dogs know is the fear that you will not come back when you go out the door without them." - Stanley Coren

 72. "A dog desires affection more than its dinner. Well - almost." - Charlotte Gray

 73. "The dog was created specially for children. He is the god of frolic." - Henry Ward Beecher

 74. "If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would fall from the sky." - Proverb

 75. "The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue." - Proverb

 76. "A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of." - Ogden Nash

 77. “My fashion philosophy is, if you’re not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.” – Elayne Boosler

 78. “Dog is God spelled backward.” – Duane Chapman

 79. “I like dogs. You always know what a dog is thinking. It has four moods. Happy, sad, cross, and concentrating. Also, dogs are faithful and they do not tell lies because they cannot talk.” – Mark Haddon

 80. “The great pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of himself too.” – Samuel Butler 

 81. “Animals have come to mean so much in our lives. We live in a fragmented and disconnected culture. Politics are ugly, religion is struggling, technology is stressful, and the economy is unfortunate. What’s one thing that we have in our lives that we can depend on? A dog or a cat loving us unconditionally, every day, very faithfully.” – Jon Katz

 82. “When the dog looks at you, the dog is not thinking what kind of a person you are. The dog is not judging you.” – Eckhart Tolle

 83. “Such short little lives our pets have to spend with us, and they spend most of it waiting for us to come home each day.” – John Grogan

 84. “There is no faith which has never yet been broken, except that of a truly faithful dog” – Konrad Lorenz

 85. “A dog will make eye contact. A cat will, too, but a cat’s eyes don’t even look entirely warm-blooded to me, whereas a dog’s eyes look human except less guarded. A dog will look at you as if to say, ‘What do you want me to do for you? I’ll do anything for you.’ Whether a dog can in fact, do anything for you if you don’t have sheep [I never have] is another matter. The dog is willing.” – Roy Blount Jr.

 86. “It’s not the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” – Mark Twain

 87. “You know, a dog can snap you out of any kind of bad mood that you’re in faster than you can think of.” – Jill Abramson

 88. “My favorite type of pet has always been a dog. They’re loyal, kind, and offer endless affection. My friend Eric says, ‘The more people I meet, the more I like my dog.’ Funny thought.” – Brendon Urie

 89. “You can tell by the kindness of a dog how a human should be.” – Captain

 90. “The dog lives for the day, the hour, even the moment.” – Robert Falcon Scott

 91. “Every dog must have his day.” – Jonathan Swift

 92. “You can usually tell that a man is good if he has a dog who loves him.” – W. Bruce Cameron

 93. “I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.” – Gilda Radner

 94. “Before you get a dog, you can’t quite imagine what living with one might be like; afterward, you can’t imagine living any other way.” – Caroline Knapp

 95. “Did you know that there are over 300 words for love in canine?” – Gabriel Zevin

 96. “When you adopt a dog, you have a lot of very good days and one very bad day.” – W. Bruce Cameron

 97. “Dogs’ lives are too short. Their only fault, really.” – Agnes Sligh Turnbull

 98. “Everything I know I learned from dogs.” – Nora Roberts

 99. “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” – Roger Caras

100. “Everyone thinks they have the best dog, and none of them are wrong.” – Unknown